An Unusual Incident
Ronnie’s account of The Machete Man

I was on my way to the post office. This was quite an innocent thing to do on a Tuesday afternoon (in my opinion). As I left the safety of our complex, I heard some yelling and shouting just down the street. I couldn’t help but notice that running down the street towards me was a man with a machete. He was sprinting, with quite a mean look on his face and a fierce gleam in his eye. A car drove past me and stopped at the intersection just outside our block of flats. The machete man sprinted up to the driver’s side of the car and started slashing at the window with the machete. At which point I put my head down and started walking away as quick as my short little hobbit legs would carry me.

I was quite worried about the driver, because the window was slightly open, and the Machete Man was really hacking at the window with the machete. As I passed the car, the passenger door opened and a woman got out holding a cup of coffee. I thought to myself, ‘Lady! What are you doing?! Don’t get out of the car; the machete man will get you! He’s the one with the machete!’ But lo and behold, in the hand that held no coffee was a wheel spanner! She yelled some profanities at the machete man, who gapped it. Wheel spanner woman chased him down the road and chucked her coffee at him, but I think he was too nimble and managed to dodge it. Still being chased, he and the wheel spanner woman exchanged profanities. I could still hear them as I rounded the corner and made my escape. It was quite funny, but I won’t lie, I was a little frightened as I made my escape. I couldn’t help but think, ‘I’ve never seen anything like that in South Africa, and we’re the ones who are supposed to have the road rage problem!’

- Ronnie